Sometimes, you just need a hat!

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in here and needless to say, there’s a lot going on. I spent the better part of the holiday season working on a rewrite for a screenplay that is close to my heart. We had a reading of it in early January, and I got wonderful notes, and then I dove back in to make a deadline for the fifteenth. It felt good to be obsessed with a world other than than what’s happening today.

I’ve found myself longing for a time that seemed more innocent, so I’ve been rewatching Curb Your Enthusiasm. I enjoyed Larry David’s vapid world when the show first aired back in the early 2000’s but now, I find myself fascinated with a Los Angeles that is no longer, and storylines that are cringy in ways I don’t think would fly today. I’m impressed by an episode that directly addresses Jews and Palestinians with Larry in the center only caring about getting laid and eating chicken, along with his creepy manager played by Jeff Garlin. I don’t remember Jeff being this creepy before but he’s clearly a sex addict, and the whole misogynist vibe is telling, but then there’s his wife, the brilliant Sussie Essman who’s potty mouth screaming is refreshing and satisfying. As the episodes roll into the next, and with only four more seasons to go, I’m sad that Cheryl Hines and Larry David are now so far apart in our current climate.

Sunday morning I woke up sad about a lot of things, and decided to take a day off from all media, and to drive to the beach. It’s been 80 degrees in Los Angeles, and as the rest of the country is having to deal with real winter weather, I’m grateful for the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine. Driving through Topanga Canyon this time of year is beautiful. The winding canyon evokes memories of auditioning at The Will Geer Theatre, and eating at the Inn Of The Seventh Ray before then feeling way too full to act. Or when I was a teenager hitchhiking over the canyon home to the valley while getting so sunburnt on the back of my legs I could barely walk but my favorite part of Topanga a place called, Hidden Treasures! I’ve found the coolest stuff there over the years, and it’s always a treat to look through clothing and items from the past.

My mom loved thrift stores too. I remember going with her to Van Nuys Blvd in the 70’s but when I was little I didn’t appreciate the experience, and complained about the smell. We’d go down the street after standing in line for our food stamps, and there was this western store called Nudie’s that sold Wrangler jeans, cowboy boots, and hats. It was right next door to the FOX movie theatre where I saw Planet of the Apes, and Beneath the Planet of the Apes, both of those films gave me nightmares.

Once I was a teenager, it’s was all about finding cool old stuff at thrift stores, coats, shoes and 1950’s dresses. There we’re a bunch of thrift stores on Colorado Blvd in Pasadena in the 80’s, and my friends and I would score amazing items. Black men’s shoes, blazers from the 60’s with gold lamay sculpted fabric and this one place had a long glass case filled with crucifixes and rosary beads. All the punks would go there, and the little old Catholic ladies couldn’t understand why we bought this stuff. Personally, I was into the 1960’s spy look. I dyed my hair silverish gray, wore silver lipstick, black eye linger and found an amazing pencil skirt and jacket suit that fit tight but was hard to run in when being chased by cops.

Clearly, I’m feeling nostalgic for a time that no longer exists but I also feel grateful to still be around. I’ve been teaching creative writing groups in treatment centers around LA, and it’s not lost on me how lucky I am to be alive. It’s an incredible honor to work with people who are literally days off of drugs and alcohol, and to hear their stories along with encouraging them to write out their thoughts and feelings. I get to witness humanity, love and healing in action. I just turned thirty-three years sober last month and again, grateful to be here.

The Damned just came out with a new album of cover songs, Not Like Everyone Else and I can’t tell how much it warms my heart to hear their rendition of “Making Time”. No one tells you that the music you loved as a teenager might always be your favorite, maybe not for everyone, but hearing Dave Vanian’s voice and Captain Sensible’s guitar fills me with creativity and hope for better days.

After an hour of looking through racks and racks of clothes at Hidden Treasures, I tried on some dresses, a blazer from the 1940’s but nothing really grabbed me until I saw this…HAT!

All of a sudden, the world opened up. The buckle even has a B on it for my sir name and, I feel cool again.

xo